Koala Man
PAST July 11, 2001 NEXT

Previously on "Koala Man, Superhero Extraordinaire" our hero Danny
Galixy was maliciously transformed and mutated. He is left disfigured with
the head of a cute little cuddly Koala from the Australian Outback.

    Our story continues........

    "EWW!! That don't taste like Eucalyptus!", Sighed Koala Man as he tossed
the rotted cabbage leaves back into the trash can. In his frustration he
quickly slammed the lid back down onto the garbage can creating a loud crash
when YOU suddenly startled him and came out shouting, "GET OUT OF THERE
YOU,..... you,...... uhm..........." Pausing for a moment for a moment as in
disbelief, you turned back into the house and said, "Honey, there's a giant
rat in our garbage can. Don't go out there, I'm calling animal control. Oh,
and get my gun!"
    With his super human reflexes Koala Man stealthily dashed back into the
alley as if he had never even been there.

    Hungry and discouraged, Koala Man resumed his rummaging when he ran
across an old homeless man laying in the alley. An eerie glow seemed to come
out of nowhere and suddenly circumferenced the person for a moment as they
lifted their head up and told Koala Man of a remote place in the Mississippi
forests were there lives an old Cajun Voodoo doctor. That the doctor makes
potions and elixirs that may be able to reverse the evil spell cast upon him
and return him to his normal................ well, to his previous self.
    The glow faded and the homeless person's face dropped a little and said
with a mumbled, raspy voice, "Hey, big rat dude, you got any money?"
    Koala Man handed a twenty to the elderly gentleman and left the alley.

    So off he went on his Super-Cycle to the back woods of Mississippi. (Boy
I'm glad I don't live there and have to write "Mississippi" more than I
absolutely have to.)
    He finds the Voodoo doctor and after many hours of explaining his
situation, Koala Man finally got a pillow for his soar back side.
(Mississippi is a
long ride on a bike.) Then he explained his reason for his journey to
Mississippi. The Voodoo doctor suddenly noticed Koala Man's head and said,
"Hey you got a Koala for a head." With a "Duh" from Koala Man the doctor
begins to work on a potion. Not for Koala Man himself, but for the poor
Koala left in
Australia that must be surely suffering by now. What an awful thing that
would be to have to live with such a hideous face as that must be.
    The doctor works and works. He labors for hours upon hours into the
night with lightning and thunder crashing outside until he finally is
finished with the potion. Koala Man quickly and desperately grabs the potion
and gulps it down as the Voodoo doctor counts, "One Mississippi, two
Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi, six
Mississippi................. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH!! It should have
worked by now." (I couldn't go on, my hand cramped up)
    There was a moment of silence when Koala Man looks up and says, "Hey! my
backside feels better!" But then Koala Man noticed that he had came down
with a severe case of the hick-ups.
    The doctor says he is truly sorry but then tells Koala Man that he knows
of an old Sea Hag at the Oregon coast that he believes could possibly help
him.

    So off again goes our hero.

    Please stay logged on, till next time when you hear (read) Koala Man
say, "You don't deserve a tip, you old hag."